Writer...am I?

“Why did you take Mass Communication?”

“Because since high school, I am a part of our student publication. I love to write.”

‘Yan naman ang lagi kong sagot kasi yan naman ang totoo. Pero hindi siya ganun kadaling panindigan ha? Mahirap.

  

Writing is said to be the hardest to learn among the four areas of learning. First, we need to learn to read, to speak and to listen for us to learn to write. (to + …tss) It also requires more time for it is hard to decode our thoughts and imagination into words. Writing also needs a lot of patience because not everybody like or even understand what we’re writing. It is hard.

Pero bakit ba gusto kong magsulat? Ibig sabihin ba nun magaling na akong makinig, magbasa at magsalita kaya ako sulat ng sulat? HINDI RIN. Kasi kung oo, eh ‘di sana kasing galing na ako nung EIC namin nung high school. Magaling sa grammar, vocabulary at spontaneous talagang magsulat. Eh ‘di sana kasing taba na ng utak ng classmate kong writer yung utak ko. Halos lahat ng bagay alam niya. Eh ‘di sana kasing astig na ako ng pub adviser namin. Sobrang galing niya kaya cool ang dating niya. Pero hindi ako ganung klase ng writer. Mahirap.

I’m a writer whose articles are always revised if not rejected. I always use highfaluting words even they say that it’s better to use simpler words. I often make my compositions longer because I keep on explaining and stressing things again and again. I’m not that good in grammar (can I get better someday?). I’m introverted when our adviser returns my articles because of grammatical errors. “The thought is there but you have to revise it.” It is hard.

Alam ko naman yun. Kahit hindi na sabihin sa akin, alam ko na yun. Ako yung tipo ng manunulat na hindi lumilipat ng pahina, hindi umuunlad kasi wala akong ginagawa para umunlad. Marami akong mga pinapalampas na pagkakataon lalo na ang maging EIC ulit ng isang publication. Sumuko ako noon kasi nararamdaman kong pinipilit ko na lang ang lahat. Mahirap.

There are many factors that hinder me to continue writing. They say that there’s no money in writing. Journalists need to have many raket or other ‘businesses’ in order to earn a living. This is not where I want to be because I dream of being rich someday. Also, writing is not the passion of my new circle of friends in college (yes, a small-minded reason). Yet, influences can also make or break our passion. They say that writing is hard and boring. I said yes it is but deep inside I ask, is really it? I’ve also known as a writer in class but there are my student-writer classmates. They belong to the university pub and I’m not. Who am I to surpass them? Yes, these are insecurities. These are all my nonsense insecurities, I admit. I can’t get over these. It is hard.

Pero mas marami akong dahilan para patuloy na magsulat. Hindi ganun kaganda at kalakas ang boses ko at medyo mahiyain akong humarap sa maraming tao kaya sa pagsusulat ko idinadaan ang lahat. Dito ako nakakapaglabas ng saloobin, ng galit at ng saya. Dito ko napapatunayan na ginagamit ko ang aking utak sa pag-iisip at dito ako nagiging kuntento at komportable. Dito ko nasasabi lahat ng ayaw bigkasin ng matabil kong dila, lahat ng naririnig ng aking matatalas ng mga tenga, lahat ng nakikita ng mga malilinaw kong mata, lahat ng nadarama ng makapal kong balat, lahat ng naaamoy ng maselan kong ilong at lahat ng gustong ilabas ng barado ko na atang puso. Pati ang pagiging bitter at korni ko gaya ngayon, dito lahat lumalabas sa pagsusulat. Pwede na nga akong maging pipi pero naisip ko, ayoko nga. Mahirap.

I think only real writers can appreciate good works and excellent writers. I salute the journalists. Even if they do not earn a decent living and their lives are put into danger in this profession, they still write truthfully and relay these to and for the people (hope that they all belong to one species). More than a job, it is a vocation. It is a real passion. Also, hands down to all the scriptwriters/researchers of TV series, movies and ads because they are unsung heroes! Actors are nothing in a series without good material/story and these are all products of the brilliant ideas of the writers. They can make dumb people turn into geniuses and they can really make the viewers think (twice or even thrice). It is hard!

Ako, kahit ano pang sabihin ng iba, alam ko sa sarili kong writer ako at paninindigan ko yun. Iba kasi ang pakiramdam kapag nakita mong nai-publish na rin sa wakas ang pinagpupuyatan mong article. Iba ang saya kapag nabasa ng ibang tao ang sinulat mo at bonus na lang kapag nagustuhan nila yun. Achievement na yun kapag kilala ka nila na isang writer. Hindi lang dahil alam nilang mahirap magsulat kundi dahil alam nilang may lakas ako ng loob at mahabang pasensya na ibahagi ang aking imahinasyon, karanasan at talento sa pagsusulat.

Mahirap magsulat? Sus, sinasabi mo lang yan, isulat mo kaya? Oo, HINDI madaling magsulat pero hindi rin naman sobrang hirap. Ako, inaamin kong naiiba ako, hindi ako pangkaraniwan at weird ako kasi I AM…a WRITER. Ikaw ba?