SINGLE NOW

DISCLAIMER: This is written using the first person because I AM single but it is not a real story.

This is one of my unpublished articles (a year ago). The title, ‘Single Now’ is a present situation for me for the last 19 years. Must I be happy? Sad? Confused? Delighted? Worried? I guess I’ve felt all these feelings and until now, I don’t know what to do or must I do something? I just know that I’m…

SINGLE NOW…

Living my teenage years, I am always suffocated by the saying ‘being single is a choice’, is really it? Then someone gave me a more hopeful advice that love will come at the right time. As I guess that the magic number is 18 (licensed to love?), I have waited since then.

Today is my 18^th birthday. I did not request for any celebration because I want and am expecting that today would be magical in its own way. It started ah, good. My family and friends greeted me, some with gifts and some are still economical but hey, my birthday will be over after few hours and still no sign of having a love life? Hmm…

Where is the magic and what happen to my right time? As David Blaine shouted abra cadabra, my hope disappeared together with his bird, hanky, flowers, blah blah blah. I guess it’s another wrong belief and failed expectation. 

Honestly, waiting for my debut (18^th birthday) is one of my many excuses for being single—it leaves me hoping to have fallen in love until now. As I mean ‘many’, this excuse is now over together with my I’m-busy-with-my-studies defense, my-parents-will-get-angry alibi and I-don’t-need-him reason. These are all over. 

I did get my right time and WHO HAS IT by the way? Instead of being paranoid to have a boyfriend or maybe just a fling, I now have a new perspective in life and I errr, believe it is right, BEING SINGLE IS A CHOICE and IT IS my choice now.

I choose to be a hardworking student ever since, a helpful friend and a loving daughter to my family. I choose to be the happy-yet-simple-and-dull-youngest-widow as they call me. 

 

I choose to be away from boys because I grew up with their teases. I thought that they are too loud and bad-mannered before finding out that even the naughtiest boy in this world has his soft side. I choose to be like this and I must stand for it. 

Being single gives us a lot of opportunities. We can concentrate with our studies and bring in gold after it. We can pursue our talents and develop our skills and gather praises from these.  We can hunt for guys around the campus and vision of kisses from them. We can go out and have no one to limit us (except for ‘protective’ pops and moms). We can be free.

Being single, yes I am aware, also hinders us to experience the blissful side of being in each other’s arms. After school, no one will accompany us to go home. After our performance, no one will have the biggest hands for us. When in need of a perfect kiss, no other campus heartthrobs are willing to give us theirs. In going out, no one will dance with us.

 

 I know another point of being single is actually BEING ALONE. Of course family and friends will be there but having ‘the one’ is another story. It is a choice, I must not regret this, I must not and hopefully, I will not.

As for girls, we find it unfair especially with the kind of culture we have here in the PI that boys are the ones who get to choose the girl then make the first move. Girls will have to wait and wait if there will be a guy in this world who will like AND COURT THEM— lucky for those who are gifted (physically), they have dozens. 

BOYS’ DEFENSE: It is also hard to like someone then court and the more courtships they have attempted means the more relationships they have failed to sustain.

They have a point in here and yes, girls could also make the first move especially now that we are living our liberated lives. However, boys will find it awkward and too aggressive, it is unfair.

Girls usually love first; we just have to hide it to preserve an unblemished image (which is rare today). We do not need a charming prince in his white horse, a simple guy with a sincere intention is better. For some girls, even anyone with an intention (good OR bad) will do. Tssss. 

 A larger percentage of girls dream of having a fairy tale love story and as we wake up, REALITY CHECK: we are single.

It is true, being single is a choice BECAUSE WE HAVE NOTHING TO CHOOSE FROM. We are just accepting the truth and trying to make our lives fruitful because this is the way we should do so.

Besides, the choice of being single is not permanent, we just came up with this decision to continue living our lives and fulfilling our dreams so that when the right time finally come, we will not regret ONCE WE CHOOSE  TO BE SINGLE and we HAVE succeeded. We have succeeded because we fought against loneliness and WE EMBRACED EVERY OPPORTUNITY that showed up. 

We can never tell when our love story will unfold but waiting is not just our way out, it is our decision to CONTINUE LIVING AND LOVING OUR LIVES. Who knows, we are single now…but may begin dating the next day. :)))

So that’s it! Yes, I’m more of a bitter-desperate writer here. Hahahaha. I guess it’s because I’m surrounded with those who have “In a relationship” status on Facebook (friends, cousins: most of them are taken). Yet sometimes, I’m glad because being single means I’M FREE.

  I want to believe that being single leads the person to be free rather than to be alone.